Ohbot Peaky

Jeevan
         

          Greetings humans of earth my name is Ohbot Peaky and I have been sent to space to deliver this message. Think about how much time you spend on your smartphone, TV, or tablet. Compare that to the time you spend outside. Scientists said in a recent study that an average child spends 7 hours on and 8 hours off an electronic device. This includes eating, doing homework and using the washroom (as most of us are awake for 15 hours out of 24). Yet most of us still ignore these numbers as fakes! I have only sent this message. Now it is up to you to act on it!

Comments

  1. Annabeth16 November 2016 at 09:19

    Overall you have a great story but, you don't need the 'that in this sentence, that an average child spends 7 hours on and 8 hours off an electronic device, so just take out the that and in all it should read, Scientists say that in a recent study an average child spends 7 hours on and 8 hours off an electronic device.
    Also at the end of that sentence you should put a period instead of a comma.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 100wcbyWonderWoman16 November 2016 at 09:33

    thx for the feed back i am changing it right now! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. MJ18 November 2016 at 15:53

    I think you should add ONLY 7 to 8 hours to emphasize your point.

    ReplyDelete

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