Ohbot Peaky
Jeevan Greetings humans of earth my name is Ohbot Peaky and I have been sent to space to deliver this message. Think about how much time you spend on your smartphone, TV, or tablet. Compare that to the time you spend outside. Scientists said in a recent study that an average child spends 7 hours on and 8 hours off an electronic device. This includes eating, doing homework and using the washroom (as most of us are awake for 15 hours out of 24). Yet most of us still ignore these numbers as fakes! I have only sent this message. Now it is up to you to act on it!
after you wrote "I had gotten used to time travel." you have to capitalize the "all". and if merlin is a name you have to capitalize the "m".
ReplyDeleteYour not supposed to use contractions so no 'couldn't'. And 'time travel' should be capitalized.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story though.
-you can't have contractions change could to could not
ReplyDelete-capitalize the A in all
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I think you should change "Oh no I wasn’t concentrating on merlin now I’m trapped I think" to "Oh no, my mind was on Merlin, I don't know where I am,"
-and you should change I looked down and see space to I looked around and saw an empty space